| New IT Definitions (Humor)
Distributed computing: Instead of IT taking care of it, making each individual user jump through a series of arcane hoops with badly-written instructions in order to do it themselves.
Parallel processing: actual mission work grinds to a standstill as everyone in a shop is forced to deal with the same byzantine IT matters for an entire day.
Serial processing: one person finally figures out how to make it work and blows the rest of their day going around the office showing everyone else in turn.
Read-only memory: the phenomenon of the helpdesk tech who can only assist you if your problem and its solution are spelled out specifically, with steps, in the binder in front of them.
Random-access memory: the inability to procure the services of the helpdesk tech who actually knows something about the application int question, instead soliciting the aid of a different, randomly-selected tech who (one presumes) knows backward and forward some app which isn't your current problem. | 
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