How-To Tips & Tweaks: Be Less Annoying

[Lyte]

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Tips & Tweaks: Be Less Annoying
Tips for writing e-mail that actually gets read; plus, a doozy of a puzzle.

I've come to the conclusion that everyone needs to take a test before being able to use e-mail. No, I'm serious. You have to take an e-mail test. If you pass, you get an e-mail license. Proudly hang it on the wall. Screw up--send lots of messages with blank subject lines, say--and your license is pulled. You go on probation and attend mandatory remedial e-mail training.

Why am I being so hardnosed? I have a laundry list of ways people drive me wild with e-mail. I wrote about a few in "Get Relief From Annoying E-Mail," my July "Hassle-Free PC" column.

I ran out of room in the print column, so here are some more--and how to stop being obnoxious with your e-mail.

To Whom Am I Speaking?
Sometimes I have absolutely no idea who's sending me an e-mail, and this is a problem. I mean, I'll say something to another guy that I wouldn't dream of uttering to a lady my mother's age. [Sorry, Mom.]

Don't share. If you and your live-in (spouse, significant other, whatever) use the same e-mail address, stop it. Extra e-mail addresses are free and consolidating e-mails into one mailbox is confusing the dickens out of me because I never know who I'm writing to.

Use a sig line. Make life easier for me: Add a signature line with your name and e-mail address using the hot-linked mailto:steve_bass@pcworld.com format. It's easier to reply just to you if your e-mail was sent to many people; it's also great for when I forward your e-mail--the new recipient doesn't have to cut and paste your address.

Use your real name. Don't get me wrong, I love your . The problem is, I haven't a clue who you are. Be a champ and add your real name in the signature line. And a favor? Don't use initials.

Dig This: You're not going to like this one. Even if you're a mathematician, an engineer, or a nonlinear thinker. The puzzle doesn't have a name. It doesn't come with instructions. When you start, you're just there, plunging in and doing it. Well, maybe doing it. I wasn't doing much of anything besides struggling for the first ten minutes.

Okay, stop whining. Here's a hint: the next page is at http://n.nfshost.com/2.html; watch the pattern. (BTW, you can blame Alex Eckelberry for this.)

Do I Need to Read This Right Now?
Look, I'm a very busy man (or so I tell my wife and editor), and I get tons of e-mail every day. I need to do e-mail triage--you know, scanning the inbox for the hottest messages and reading them first. But honestly, I can't do this with most e-mail I get. So here's what I recommend:

The subject is... Tell me, clearly and briefly, what your message is about in the subject line. I delete all messages with vague subjects--Hi, Hello, or worse, an empty subject line (oh, do I hate that!). And make sure you don't trigger my spam filter by using all capital letters, exclamation points, and words you typically see in junk e-mail, like "free," "spam," "mortgage," or "Viagra."

Exec summary. Give me a one- or a two-sentence overview at the start of your e-mail. "I have a complicated issue," you might start out, "involving a Dell, memory cards, and SP2. If you have time to help, I've provided details below.'

Save time. Use [NM] or [EOM] (they stand for "no message" or "end of message") in the subject line as a shorthand way of responding with a simple "thank you" or an acknowledgement. This helps reduce the number of e-mails I need to open; many of the people at PC World
use the trick and it's increased everyone's productivity.

Dig This: If you like to sketch along with others, you'll get a kick out of SwarmSketch (subtitled "Collective sketching of the collective consciousness"). Each time you visit the site, you add a line. So does everyone else. After about four days, the masterpiece is done.

And Your Point Is?
Once I actually open an e-mail, I need to get the point quickly so I can reply to the sender if necessary, then move on to the next one. But lots of the missives I get are, how to say it?, a mess.

Use paragraphs. Obvious, right? Nope. I get e-mails with one long paragraph the length of the Gettysburg Address. Break it up into three or four smaller ones. By the way, my limit is three or four paragraphs; after that I start dozing. [Editor's note: I noticed.]
And send a test message to a buddy to make sure your e-mail program isn't removing paragraph returns.

By the numbers. If you have more than one question or point, number them. It makes replying a whole lot easier if I can refer to the numbers.

Subject shorthand. When you reply or forward an e-mail, it's helpful if you stick one or two descriptive words in front of the original subject so the recipient has an idea of what's in store. For instance, I use tags such as "Update," "Confirmation," or "Really Dumb."

Miscellaneous Gripes
Think I'm done kvetching? Nope, no such luck.

Attachment don'ts. Don't attach anything executable--period. If on the off chance I've asked you to send a program, stick it into a zipped file.

Keep it private. Don't reply to a mailing list with "great idea" or "I agree." Reply privately instead. Select a small part of the original message for context's sake.

Stay plain, Jane. Avoid fancy formatting, gaudy colors, and flowery backgrounds. Two reasons: first, what's cool on your monitor looks like hell on mine; and second, that extra coding increases the download time for folks with slower connections.

Dear [InsertName]. Private note to PR flacks: If you can't use mail merge properly, don't.

Dig This: Pipedream is a very cool 3.5-minute animation that's great fun to watch (and you probably won't believe it's an animation).